Subject: Bob's Travelogue: Bad Italian English

Big Mac Eaters of the World,

It's a short one this week -- I'm picking up Biola Beatke in Rome
tomorrow, and I have more urgent things to be doing than keeping you
guys entertained.  So this week, I simply submit three of my favorite
examples of bad Italian English.  Now, I fully respect my Italian
colleagues' intelligence and know that they have done a better job
learning my language than I have learning theirs.  If someone wanted
to write an expose' of my feauxes pas in Italian (such as the time I
told a pharmacist I had mushrooms in my feet) it would be much funnier
than this.  But laughing at people who are different from us is as old
as humanity, so with no further apology I present one email and two
posted notices.

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    Dear MACRO people,

    some shifters reported to me the difficulties in restarting the run from
    the external labs, in particular remembering the correct syntax of each
    command (which you should), in order to type them before some timer
    expires and the acquisition kills itself.

    The good old CIT terminals are getting rare, but I managed to configure
    the VT510 terminal (the white one on the left) in the shifter room on the
    third floor.

    I intended this terminal upgrade to help you when in trouble, and not to
    prevent the lazy shifter from going in the tunnel - a good shift worker
    should stay as long as possible nearby the detector, where possible
    misfunctioning can be easily detected and quickly fixed. So please do not
    abuse of this facility.

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    This toilet is automatically hygienized with each discharge.

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                          W A T C H     O U T !!

    In case of acoustic alarm, caused by the fire control panel, it takes
    30 seconds to give up places.

    These ones must be left, being sure doors are closed, because there is
    the automatic charge by the extinguishing agent.

    After this operation has been done, you must be sure the alarm is
    really justified.  On the contrary you must defuse the control panel
    situated under this prefabricated: instructions to defuse it are on
    the frontal of the panel.

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QUOTE OF THE WEEK: (said to me in Italian by a Moroccan student living here)

    "It is difficult for me to understand your English, because you
    do not speak English like an Italian."