GRADUATION DIARY

9:30 At the gathering area.  The grads who have taken industrial jobs
     are speaking ironically about how much money they'll be making.

     Sophia is late.  Why am I not surprised?

9:38 Everyone had their tassle flipped to the back of their mortar
     board, except one guy who seemed cooler than the rest of us.
     Then some time in the past five minutes, everyone moved it to the
     front.

     Sophia?

9:53 Sophia!

9:58 They take my satchel away.  I have a few ice cubs in baggies for
     keeping me cool in my seat in the hot sun.  I transfer them from
     my satchel to my pants pocket.  Now my thighs are turning blue.

10:22 The processional took about 15 minutes.  I spent it chatting
      with an Australian who is the only graduate of the Division of
      Humanities and Social Sciences.

10:26 My family found some seats in the shade.  I wonder if they
      realize how short-lived that shade will be.

      My favorite Caltech band just did an a capella rendition of
      Theme from M*A*S*H to introduce Alan Alda.

10:50 Alan Alda done good!  He said science communication should not
      be a commercial but a love story.  Society knows how to tune out
      a commercial, but can't resist a love story.

      He also suggested not to leave out of the story the doubts and
      wrong turns -- doing so makes scientists seem too perfect for
      non-scientists to relate to.

      And of course he played to the Caltech audience by deifying
      Feynman.

      I've got the ice packs strategically placed under my black
      robes.  They're leaking but I don't care.

10:56 They start reading names.  I'm about 10th from last.

11:01 They had put a cool water bottle under the chair of each grad --
      now that's a 2-ply university!

11:12 A sign of the over-representation of Asians in the sciences:
      when the undergrad role got to the W's, they were only about 80%
      done.

11:18 My brother's seat is now in the sun.  Dad's half-and-half and
      Mom is still shaded.

11:20 The Ph.D. candidates get to stand up. The Dean says, "For not
      less than three years of residency...." and I say, "That's an
      understatement."

      My first two ice bags have reached body temperature.  I switch
      to the last one.

11:39 Didn't trip.  Couldn't catch Alan Alda's eye on the way by to
      reminisce about his visit to Gran Sasso a few years ago.

11:44 My ice bags are all melted.  The audience has all seen what they
      came to see.  No one wants to be here listening to descriptions
      of service award winners.

11:59 Standing while the faculty march out -- it feels eight degrees
      cooler!