BOBOLOGUE REDUX The longest Bobologue ever produced the most feedback ever. I heard from girls who wanted to be treated like princesses, from women who didn't want to be treated like princesses, from men who did/men who didn't want to treat females like princesses. Some got downright cynical ("Ignore everything they say or do unless you need sex, then adjust.") I was just trying to elicit a laugh or two but you all took it much more seriously than I. There is no consensus in the post- feminist era. While we're on the topic of men and women, boys and girls, you guys would be surprised what women think we do with toilet paper (it has bearing on the over-the-top or under-the-bottom debate). If we were going to do that, what would be the point of wearing underwear? Bad news on bottled water, from a guy who has a degree from some airy-fairy mamby-pamby multidisciplinary environmental studies program so you know it's got to be true: "Turns out bottled water isn't too terribly much better. Get a filter for your faucet rated fine enough to screen out dinoflagellates like giardia or cryptosporidium. They actually say those names on the package. The water doesn't taste as good but it is a good deal safer except for totally dissolved substances (like Cr-6)." LIFE WITH MR. STUPID Here's what you're not getting about my depression: it often doesn't manifest itself in sadness. But it almost always manifests itself in the inability to get work done. It's like this stupid guy has moved into my brain and taken over the decision-making apparatus. Should I go to bed at night or play Yahtzee against the computer? Should I get up in the morning or lie in bed listening to a radio program on economic restructuring in Poland? Should I try to debug my program or surf over to American Musical Supply to see what microphones are on sale? *I* know the right answer -- I may not be a genius, but I'm a pretty smart guy. But it doesn't matter as long as Mr. Stupid is calling the shots. Although, late in the month, I had a couple of good, high-focus days where I could sink my teeth into a problem like a bulldog and keep squeezing until I had overcome it. Maybe the drugs are beginning to take effect. LONE STAR I got up at 5:00 am one day just to miss an airplane. I guess I should have got up at 4:50. But eventually I made it to Texas, for the wedding of a close friend. The wedding was great, except that there were no eligible women between 20 and 60 (although the bride's mother did try to fix me up with the bride's psycho California sister who wasn't there). But it was also great just to get back in touch with Texas. Small Texas towns like the one I grew up in stir something deep in my soul (although I don't know if I could ever bring myself to live in one again). It was also a chance to catch up on what's playing on the country stations (or, as they refer to them in Texas, "radio stations". I did stumble across one soft rock station while I was in Texas, but it turned out it was broadcasting from Arkansas.) Here's what I heard: "She changed her mind when she couldn't change me"; "Poor me... Poor me... Poor me... Pour me another shot of whiskey"; "Don't blame it on me, blame it on Texas"; and "She thinks my tractor's sexy". I also learned that Stevie Nicks is singing country now and it sounds about as weird as you would expect. I'm not saying I didn't like it, but I am saying that it sounded kind of like they recorded someone else singing the song, on a real bad tape recorder. I also found that God is buying a lot more billboards (e.g. "If you think it's hot up here... -- God") in the Bible Belt than in the rest of the country, which seems like an inefficient media strategy -- shouldn't he be selling harder where he's not so well-known? The promised rant on THE GOSPEL OF PSYCHOTHERAPY In the normal course of events, people do not know what they want -- due to defenses, denial, socialization, etc. -- so they live unhappy lives. With proper introspection (usually with a trained therapist at $100 an hour, although not always) people can learn what they want. That is the key to a happy life. A couple of tenets of faith of this gospel (and, like all tenets of faith, not subject to question) are that understanding how you got to be the way you are gives you the power to change, and that when you know what you want you can get it. This gospel is widely held outside the church and has also been widely adopted in the church. In the church it works exactly the same way, but may be couched in different language. God created people good. In the normal course of events, people are not what God created them to be -- due to defenses, denial, socialization, etc. -- so they live unhappy lives. With proper introspection (usually with a trained therapist at $100 an hour, although not always) people can learn what God created them to be. That is the key to a happy life. The role of Christ in this gospel is often unclear, and its adherents may have difficulty explaining the difference between mental health and salvation. That's actually a fine gospel, but I don't think it's the gospel of Jesus Christ. A year ago one of my friends (a Christian) was beginning a training course that espouses the gospel of psychotherapy (though without the psychotherapists) and liking what he saw; he called me during the first few days and said, "This course is about the second-most-important thing in the world, in a world where only one thing matters." In other words, he recognized that the gospel he was hearing was not the gospel of Jesus Christ. The gospel of psychotherapy is about finding yourself, while the gospel of Jesus Christ is about losing yourself. Jesus taught that if you think you can be happy by figuring out what you want and trying to get it, you will always be disappointed. There will always be someone stronger and meaner to strike you on the cheek or take your cloak or make you carry their pack. (And the strongest and meanest people aren't happy either.) But if you can be more identified with what God wants, than what you want ("What shall we eat? What shall we wear?"), you can be blessed even if you are persecuted for righteousness' sake. Thus, Jesus' call to "deny yourself", "take my yoke upon you", and "None of you can become my disciple if you do not give up all your possessions." Furthermore, the gospel of psychotherapy does not allow for the new creation. In finding our unique place in the diversity of human life, the New Testament does not call us to be what we were born to be, but to be what the Holy Spirit gifted us to be. In the New Testament, the Holy Spirit indwells a person at the moment of salvation, of new birth, of the death of the old person who was slave to sin and the birth of the new person who is slave to Christ. OTHER STUFF THAT HAPPENED Nothing else happened. QUOTE OF THE MONTH: "Man with one watch always knows what time it is. Man with two watches is never really sure." -- Robert Heinlein CURRENT READING: Airplane reading: Dave Barry's first novel "Big Trouble" which is exactly as you would imagine a Dave Barry novel to be, except more plot; and a fluffy little romantic-comedy/crime- thriller called "Name Dropping".